Social Distancing - some thoughts

Although there is much, much to be said about the current situation, it would be useless and unreasonable to devote one single post about it. So let's start small. 'Social Distancing' is a phrase that's suddenly become two of the most commonly used words in everybody's vocabulary, in the past couple of weeks. Personally, I don't think I've ever uttered the words 'social' and 'distancing' in relation to each other, until about a week or two ago.

I'm not completely sure, and I can't really be bothered to check who first coined the term, but it's become the go-to practice urged by governments to slow the spread of COVID-19; Boris Johnson, along with numerous of the world's biggest political figures, has been urging the people in the UK to practice social distancing. Keeping your distance from people you'd usually be so close to. Avoid inessential meet-ups. Keep your circle small. Earlier this week even announcing a nation-wide emergency lockdown, limiting people to basically only coming into contact with those living in their house.

It's so strange, to think about the concept of social distancing in the context of the world we live in today. Even in a place like London, where the general consensus is that people are cold and detached, I think we've all realised how essential human contact is to our mundanity. High-fiving your teammates after a match, giving your friend a hug when you see them (for the last time in a while, given the circumstances), even something like touching somebody's arm/elbow if you accidentally bump into them. Like in a lot of European countries, it's become a cultural trifle in Bulgaria to kiss people on either cheek when you see them.

The notion of social distancing has manifested itself in many ways, as things have escalated. The biggest way in which it has hit me, personally, is seeing all my friends disperse and go home, while I stay behind in London. The biggest social distance I have felt has been abruptly halting face-to-face contact with people I had grown so accustomed to seeing every day, the circumstances even forcing the decision to end my most recent relationship. I've felt so many friendships and connections become weirdly suspended in some sort of limbo, uncertain about when they will ever be picked back up again, and when they do, will they take off where they left off? This has all been a lot for my sensitive little heart and mind to handle, and as I'm sure many people have, I've become so much more aware and appreciative of the little, or big, ways in which we rely on the people around us to feel human. I think back to the last time I saw my dad in the beginning of March, and my mum and little brothers way back in December, and no part of me realised this would be the last time I would get to hug them for a while. I really, really wish I had held on a little tighter, and a little longer.

Before getting into anything else, I just want to urge people to stop for a second and be a little reflective on how imperative human contact is to us. Forget about pub closures, forget about not being able to get your hair done or trimmed, for a second, and just think about all the ways in which you're touched (both physically and emotionally) by the people in your life every day.

As I'm sure enough people share the same anxieties as me, I wanted to share some ways in which I've been trying my best to stay socially connected, while practicing social distancing, beyond simply-put social media chatting and Skype / Facetime calls. In a weird way, while getting all in my head about the ways I feel lonely, I have also never felt quite so socially connected to the people in my life. What a paradox. My face-to-face contact has abruptly reduced to 1/4 of my housemates, but I've never felt closer to people. Even now, as I'm writing this, I send the paragraphs above to my friend with the text message "In the spirit of not succumbing to a state of social distance while socially distancing, I'm sending you what I have so far so you can feel my feels ahah".

I've gone on walks and runs just for the sake of observing people and the world moving at slow paces. Yesterday, while walking around the Regent's Canal walk near my house, I saw two people standing on opposite sidewalks, just to have a conversation. A stranger and I exchanged a smile as I stepped off the sidewalk when we were about to walk past each other, just to keep our distance. I've really been trying to use my limited time outside to observe the things around me, and I've seen so many people tug at whatever social connection they can, while still abiding to social distancing, reinforcing the same aforementioned ideas to me. I even saw a couple of Canada Geese swimming together, while keeping the government instructed 2m distance:

Thanks to the urgent attempt to stay socially connected I have been speaking to more of my friends, more frequently than I ever have before, really. I've facetimed a friend while painting after dinner one night. Shared more photos and writing in order to simulate a feeling of shared experience. Planned to cook over Skype with my mum, little brother and stepdad, so it feels like we're having dinner together. Facetimed another friend just to 'have a drink'. My dad and I call each other every day, sometimes twice. I've checked in with, and had people check in with me, just to see how the other one was doing more times in the last 2 days than in the past 5 months combined (there may be a little exaggeration there).

I also want to give a little shoutout to the We're Not Really Strangers game, created by Koreen (@werenotreallystrangers on Instagram). In short, it is a series of levels and questions with rising intimacy and need for thought and reflection, which help you really 'go within' and get to know the person you're playing with. I say in short, because I do want to devote an entire post to solely this. I've been debating with myself ordering this for so long, but there could not have been a better time.

I guess what I'm trying to say with all this, is that it's so imperative to understand and reflect on the connections we have and make with people in our day to day lives. Whether they're physical connections, or emotional connections. Not to sound dramatic, but I really do think our relation to those around may be the most critical, necessary, essential part of our existence in the world we live in. A lot of the time, when I get overwhelmed, or sad, or anxious, my go-to coping mechanism is to cut myself off from everybody and everything, because of which I have deleted my social media numerous times. Over the past week and a half, when things got really hard, my brain automatically jumped to the same 'solution'. But I've had to remind myself so many times that, at a time like this (although in general too, I do admit it's not the greatest solution) this is probably the worst thing I could possible resort to. If we become socially distant, at a time like this, we might actually loose ourselves, and succumb to our worst anxieties; like loosing friendships and connections. Not because of the notion of socially distancing, but because we do not put in the effort to stay connected while physically distant.

That being said, while I do believe in the necessity to stay connected, I do want to urge people to abide to all official instructions. We all have different circumstances, different living conditions, different reasons for staying or going, different health, but human connection is perhaps one of the only points of similarity we all share. As shitty as cutting off face-to-face contact with friends and family is, that is something in which we actually are all in the same boat. Stay connected from a distance, stay active, exercise outside alone, but do practice social distancing where and whenever possible.